How to say Fuck You in Spanish

You've got to love diplomacy.
This was reported earlier today on CNN.com:

In response to Condoleeza Rice's call for a democratic transition in the communist nation of Cuba after the fall of Fidel Castro, president of the Cuban National Assembly Richard Alarcon said,

"I wish that some day there will be a democratic transition in the United States, that there will be a regime change in your country, a change from war to peace, a change from arrogance, and for this kind of interfering in everybody's affairs, and looking back a little bit at home and ... facing the real problems that Americans have."


Coma mierda, Condoleeza! Arriba!

Things that don't matter, but somehow do...

Incredible amounts of energy, effort, coverage and stress have been invested in the following nonsense today:

Lindsay Lohan and her D.U.I/return to rehab/21st birthday party.
Rosie O'Donnell's departure from "The View."

Meanwhile, Iraq war protester Cindy Sheehan decides to end her efforts... and gets labeled as an "attention whore" for it.

Excuse me?
Anyone?

Now, back to American Idol...

Happy Birthday to Jean

We celebrated Jean's birthday last Thursday in Vancouver with pints around 11AM... as you do.

Actually, it was just me drinkin' the pints. She never touches the Guinness. But in fairness, I did start the day with an hour of weights and cardio at the gym so I kind of earned it.

The Vortex

This was how I spent last Sunday in Atlanta preparing for a major presentation for the people who manage CNN's digital platforms. Cold shots of Wild Turkey and Shiner Bock beer from Texas. Yee-haw.

Robots and Monsters

Now this is a great idea for a great cause.

Joe Alterio, a San Francisco artist, is donating his talents as an illustrator to help raise money for the upcoming San Francisco AIDS Marathon.

For $25, you'll get an original illustration by Alterio of either a robot or a monster, drawn to your specification. For $40, you can get two robots or monsters -- or one of each!

Alterio says...

All fundraising will go towards the SF AIDS Foundation, which is dedicated to helping individuals and families afflicted with AIDS in the SF Bay Area, as well as the Pangea Foundation, which finances the global struggle against AIDS, in Africa and elsewhere

To learn more, or get your own robot and monster mashup, check out

RobotsandMonsters.org

Kill Your Television

Saw this on the Slashdot blog today:

"Reuters is running a story on a study that claims "Online video sites that sell shows and movies such as Apple Inc.'s iTunes will likely peak this year as more programming is made available on free outlets supported by advertising." Many channels have wised up to offering their content hosted from their own sites for free — with commercials — to cut out iTunes as the middle man. End result? Predictions that services like iTunes-Video have no future." (eldavojohn)
(Photo: Courtesy Reuters)


I can count on two fingers the number of times I've actually used the iTunes store to purchase either TV shows or movies. I tend to use a fairly good program called PSPVideo Creator to stream DVD's and compress them to the iPod and PSP friendly MP4 format. In fact, unless a DVD is so loaded with DRM that it's been rendered unplayable on my PC, it works for just about anything I have in my collection.

The reality is iTunes has one major edge over web-based network streams: portability. Downloading a TV episode to your PC is fine. Being able to take that episode with you on your handheld device is key. If I want to sit and watch last week's episode of "Heroes" because my Tivo missed it (which would really damage my relationship with it), I'm going to opt to put that content on my PSP and watch it in bed or take it on a plane with me instead of sitting in the same chair I use for nearly everything that's either creatively taxing or work related.

And while iTunes' days as a go-to outlet for episodic content may indeed be numbered, until these other outlets offer up the capability to download that and take it with you (and without commercials), iTunes and similar a la carte sites aren't going anywhere.

The New Frontier

Okay - from the posting title, you'd think what I had to say here was something epic. Sorry.

If you want something epic with the same title, perhaps a good dose of Darwin Cooke's ode to the Silver Age of comic books.

It's nothing short of amazing.




My work however is less exciting. And far short of amazing.

I've taken a new position within CNN's L.A. bureau. Here's bureau chief Pete Janos with the latest:

Today we are beginning a new western region initiative that shows tremendous promise.
We have created a digital team to provide material for CNN’s many digital platforms.
Heading up this endeavor are Sara Weisfeldt and Matt West. They both bring a versatile skill set and passion to the project. They have already begun working on pilots for pod casts, pipeline, and CNN dot com.

The goal here is to take the lead on digital extensions for the CNN networks. Please send any digital platform ideas/concepts/programs you have to Matt and Sara.

And there you go. It's a collaborative effort all the way with very few parameters. It's a little daunting, but pretty exciting at the same time. It's basically whatever I want it to be.

I've got to be honest - I pitched this concept out about 6 months ago. When the original idea seemed to die on the table, I wasn't sure I wanted to stay with CNN. So unsure in fact, I found myself applying for a position with the X-Prize Foundation as their Director of Production.

The interview process there was very exciting and was told the decision was between me and one other candidate.

Coincidentally, at the time that the folks at X-Prize were trying to decide between me and that other person, CNN finally came around and offered me this opportunity. At the time, I was set on leaving and going to join the X-Prize.

Fate had other plans. The X-Prize Foundation chose my competition (something about their having more of an entrepreneurial background and costing less). Either way, second prize wasn't so bad.

I've been at this for a little more than a week and today, I finally came to the decision that I actually like what I'm doing.

I'm working towards a big presentation in Atlanta in about a week and a half, developing several new pilot segments for use on their digital platforms. It's a combination of writing and producing along with project management with a healthy dose of super-heroic innovation. It's been fun.

It should get more interesting in the coming weeks. It's a new frontier.
Without a power ring.



Maybe I can requisition one in the next budget cycle.

Random Nonsense

Because breakfast is indeed the most important meal of the day, how about a little retro-toaster goodness?

The good folks at Instructables.com have instructions on how to make your own 80's arcade themed toaster.

Of course, you should probably ask your parents' permission. Then again, if you're still living in your parents house, maybe you should spend less time on funky arts-and-crafts and think about something a little more productive.

If you're a music junkie like me, Critical Metrics is probably gonna be your new pusher.

It's a new site that collects reviews from all across the music spectrum and gives you samples of the best new music according to critics, DJ's and tastemakers. You can listen to tracks, read the reviews and if you like what you hear, you can link to online retailers such as iTunes and Rhapsody to buy them.

Speaking of new music, the new Bjork album drops tomorrow in the U.S.* It's ridiculously good. But then again, I'm a fan.
You either get it or you don't.

And chances are, if your only reference for the pixie like, Icelandic vocal wunderkind is her "swan dress" appearance at the Academy Awards in 2001, you don't.

(*I say "in the U.S." as if I have a wide, international readership...)

It Won't Be The Hilton

The big news in Hollywood today was the sentencing of celebretard Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail for violating her probation. You can read this from the LA Times for the full story.

Or you can read this from my friend and colleague Matt Carey, a senior producer at CNN, who was inside the courtroom with a ringside seat.

Paris Hilton's day in court had moments of comedy before it turned serious and a judge sentenced her to 45 days in jail for violating probation.

Hilton took the stand in her own defense, claiming she wasn't aware of key details of her sentencing on a reckless driving charge last year. At that time her license was suspended and she was placed on three years' probation.

She said her lawyers told her to sign the court documents.

"I just sign what my lawyers tell me to sign," she told the court.

The judge interjected, asking her if she would have signed a million dollar check to her lawyer if he had put that in front of her.

Hilton was mailed documents stating the terms of her probation and license suspension but she testified she doesn't open her own mail.

"I have people who do that for me," she said. She later added, "I'm a very busy person."

She blamed her publicist Elliot Mintz for telling her she could drive while her license was suspended.

She said after she was pulled over in January and cited for driving with a suspended license she asked her publicist if her license was suspended and he told her no. She said she assumed the officer who cited her was mistaken about about her ability to drive.

Mintz took the stand to acknowledge he told Hilton she could drive to and from work during a period when she she was actually forbidden from doing so.

The judge tartly asked Mintz if he was a lawyer and Mintz said no.

Mintz could offer no explantion to why he thought she could drive while her license was supended

The judge, during sentencing, flatly rejected Hilton's testimony. He said "In my opinion there is no doubt she knew her license was suspended.". He added, "I think she just wanted to disregard that she couldn't drive."

After the judge announced he was revoking her probation, Hilton addressed the court, saying "I respect the law. I'm very sorry."

She added, "From now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything," presumably referring to opening her mail.

Nuff said.

Manic Hispanic

Living in Los Angeles you become accustomed to, instead of the wonder and splendor of the beauty of nature such as trees and flowers, endless miles of billboards. They'll tack a billboard onto just about any structure - a building, a busboard, a port-a-potty.

Being a multicultural metropolis, we often enjoy bilingual billboards. And nobody enjoys those bilingual billboard more than the people whose photos are featured on them.



Take radio personality El Mandril... our happy Mexican friend is smiling (and pointing for some unknown reason).

What about El Cucuy? Again with the pointing. And boy, is he happy.

Put the two of these guys together and... WOW! They've gone and torn the head off a monkey!

Granted, these are "wacky" radio DJ's - but Jesus Cristo! A monkey???

This is from an ad for an insurance company that targets Latinos as its clientèle.

Smiling. Pointing. Maniacally happy.
I'm thinking it's a part of a larger cultural thing... ever seen Telemundo?
What's the Spanish word for Ritalin?

MMM - that is some tasty meat!

Last night, we had some friends over to the house for a little "Sideways" style dinner... you know, California wines, California inspired cuisine. ("Oh, of course," you say... )

We served a roast leg of lamb as a main course -- and it gave me a chance to play with one of my new favorite kitchen gadgets: a digital meat thermometer.

Simply put, if you do any kind of roasting whatsoever, this little toy is a must-have. Honestly, I don't care if you've been cooking meat over an open fire since the dawn of man. This is one upgrade you need to make.
The lead that is attached to the probe is oven/flame/heatproof up to 750 degrees. And let me just say, if your oven is capable of reaching up to 750 degrees - you have my respect - though I'm not sure what you're turning out of that kitchen other than ceramics.

It's fairly simple. You want to check the internal temperature of your roast, slip the stainless steel probe into the thickest part of the meat, wait a few seconds and the ultra-accurate thermometer will tell you how close you are to sinking your teeth into some tasty flesh.

This particular model has a feature that allows you to set the desired internal temperature so all you need to do is put the probe in, connect the lead to the thermometer and run it outside of the oven. When the roast hits the proper temp, the thermometer will alert you with an alarm. Sweet!

Personally, while I'm sure this little feature is the shit, I'm kind of old-school (as is my more than ancient O'Keefe and Merritt oven) and prefer to rotate my meat in the oven to make sure it's evenly cooked. Even still - the new school thermometer is the way cool.

Go get yourself one. Then, go get yourself a hulkin' hunka meat and have a party. And be sure to call me, my leftovers are only gonna last so long.

Reaching Out From The Grave

Apparently, Cho Seung-Hui wasn't as silent a killer as we thought - or hoped.

The Internet and television news networks a literally buzzing over the revelation that Seung-Hui , in between the first and second shootings at Virginia Tech, mailed NBC News a package containing what some have called a "multi-media manifesto" containing photos, videos and an 1800 word essay detailing his final act of brutality.

And while anybody who views these videos and photos or reads his ramblings will certainly and understandably be shocked and upset by what they see, can anybody say that they're truly shocked at the discovery of these materials?

Just when the news networks had packed up and headed home, leaving the students, faculty of Virginia Tech to heal in the aftermath of Seung-Hui's violent rampage, once again, that community, and to some degree the whole world, is once again victimized by one man's selfish, violent bid for immortality.

Not to diminish what's happened in any way, only as a means of putting things into a manageable context for no one but myself, the discovery Seung-Hui's words and images, 2 days after his one man act of terrorism -- smacks of nothing but pure cowardice... not unlike standing tall and talking shit over your shoulder as you walk away from a fight...

Always The Quiet Ones...

Cho Seung-Hui... the Virginia Tech student who murdered his way to international fame was apparently a loner -- with severe emotional problems. Apparently nobody, save for one of his English professors saw the carnage and brutality of his rampage yesterday coming.

He was apparently a playwright... channeling his anger and frustration into vitriolic prose for the stage. You can read his violent, one-act play here

There is a certain morbid curiosity that bubbles up inside those of us who weren't directly affected by Seung-Hui's violent curtain call. As the days and weeks progress, we'll learn more about this twisted soul and try to discern what it was that drove him from his quiet isolation to explode so violently in front of so many.

And while pundits and politicians scramble to politicize and alter policy in a knee-jerk reaction to such violence, maybe there is something to be learned.

Seung-Hui, according to the Chicago Tribune, "left an invective-filled note in his dorm room that included a rambling list of grievances and died with the words "Ismail Ax" in red ink on the inside of one of his arms."

Conspiracisy buffs and scholars have jumped all over this little detail, pointing to possible links to Islam. (Because in America, if it's a senseless act of violence, it's got to be tied to Islam... )

Says one blogger:

"He may have been trying to write the name "Ishmael." Wikipedia notes: "The name has come to symbolize orphans, exiles, and social outcasts."

From Mission Islam:

"He left his father after he lost hope to convert him to the right path, and directed his efforts towards the people of the town, but they rejected his call and threatened him. By Allah, he said, I shall plot a plan to destroy their idols. He knew that a big celebration was coming soon, where everybody would leave town for a big feast on the riverbank. After making sure that nobody was left in town, Ibrahim went towards the temple armed with an ax. Statues of all shapes and sizes were sitting there adorned with decorations. Plates of food were offered to them, but the food was untouched. "Well, why don't you eat? The food is getting cold." He said to the statues, joking; then with his axe he destroyed all the statues except one, the biggest of them. He hung the ax around its neck and left. "

What was Seung-Hui trying to say? We'll never know. His inner turmoil forever silenced along with the lives and spirits of 33 innocents.

It's always the quiet ones.

Unimaginable

The Virginia Tech tragedy. It's almost unimaginable. Or is it...

Just last week, the CBS drama "The Unit" featured this as their story:

"In Loco Parentis"
The Unit is called in to help out the local SWAT team when a prominent school in Virginia is taken over by shooters. They must determine how to free the hostages without the students getting injured.

Not that you need to relive the experience, as it continues to unfold live on CNN, but the entire episode is actually streaming on CBS' broadband channel, Innertube.

Catching up with an overeaching underachiever...

Let's see... where do we begin?
Surely SOMETHING has happened to keep me away from the Chronicles.

Was it the beginning of a new swim training program designed to increase my paddling power for surfing?

I mean, I am up to 40 laps on my way to an eventually 100 lap swim, but that's probably not it. Although, I will say - I've noticed that I am paddling a bit harder when I'm out in the surf.

Maybe it was the recent South swell we recently enjoyed here in SoCal?

I mean, I managed to get out and get some waves for three days last week, but I also managed to find myself at the office idling my time away turning stories on everything from "The Sopranos" to the legacy of Rolling Stone magazine and DC Comics' "Wonder Woman."

It could've been "Marvel: Ultimate Alliance," a fiendishly addictive game for the Playstation that has cost me more than 19 hours of my life -- and continues to plague me as I struggle to find the means to defeat the diabolical Dr. Doom in the game's final...

It might be the song-writing and musical experimentation I've been working on. With 2 songs completed and a third bubbling away on my hard-drive, the largely electronic (for now) project has certainly taken up quite a bit of my time -- but again, I've also managed to find time to eat and bathe, so it's not quite a Mozartesque effort.

Then again, it might be the books and comics that I've been busying myself with -- including Chuck Palahniuk's "Diary" and Warren Ellis' wildly cool "New Universal," but I also have a girlfriend, so I haven't quite fallen into uber-nerd territory (unless I'm already too lost in my own world to see the forest for the trees).

Of course, it might just be case of general laziness, but where would I find the time for that?

For Glory!

Not that I'm usually in the practice of breathless gushing, but I've got to say a few words about the upcoming film, "300."

Amazing. Awesome. Fucking great. Seriously.

The film is based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller ("Sin City," "The Dark Knight Returns") and tells the story of the battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas along with 300 Spartan warriors, battled to the death against Xerxes and the entire Persian army.

The original tale, as presented in the graphic novel was an amazing combination of Miller's unique illustrations and poetic prose style. A great read.

But what Zach Snyder has done with the film adaptation is nothing short of... at the risk of repeating myself, Amazing. Awesome. Fucking great. Seriously.

You WILL want to see this in theaters. It's out on March 9th.

I'll spare you any attempts at writing an actual review and instead, point you towards the film's official site where you can satisfy your curiousity and whet your appetite for blood. (Quite a bit of it is spilled over the course of its 2 hour run time)

For extra credit, you can always read up on the original source material. Check it out here.

"Our arrows will blot out the sun."
"Then, we will fight in the shade!"

Fucking great. Seriously.

Art vs. The Government

By now, you've surely read the headlines about the Adult Swim promotional campaign that brought the city of Boston to a standstill. (LINK)

What strikes me as frightening in the fallout from all of this has nothing to do with the fact that "bomb squads scrambled throughout the city and its suburbs, snarling traffic and mass transit in the city," but the idea that city leaders are hellbent to make sure somebody is punished for the incident.

First, let's be clear. This wasn't a "bomb scare that turned out to be a hoax."
It's a public art project that an overly paranoid government turned into a bomb scare.

The irony of all of this is that the objects in question, which are only slightly more sophisticated than a Lite-Brite, were placed in several cities including Los Angeles, San Francisco and Ground Zero, New York. You would think if anybody is going to overreact to a "suspicious object," it would be New York.

Of course, nobody in New York, L.A. or San Francisco reacted to the public art project because - well, it's New York, L.A. and San Fran... three cities practically choking to death on public art projects.

So why did the city managers in Boston freak out? A complete lack of a sense of humor. I mean, we're talking about a Space-Invader alien flipping the bird here.

Sadly, as the city leaders in Boston do their best to recover from the embarrassment (nobody likes it when they don't get the joke), the government will step up efforts to insure that similar "guerrilla marketing" and art projects don't cause the same kind of panic. In fact, upon learning that several of the light-boards had been in New York for more than a week, the NY PD was reportedly dispatched to take them down.

And while we're beginning to get used to the notion of the "chilling effect," somehow I don't think a government crack-down on art is going to play to well with the people who make it.

I'm reminded of a quote from Benjamin Franklin lately:
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security."

In an age where our leaders come up with creative ways of explaining how by removing our freedoms, they're ensuring our freedoms, we need more people who are willing to give our government the finger. And if they do it with a Lite-Brite, so much the better.

Wasting My Time on The Company's Dime

Among the random, useless e-mails I receive on a daily basis, today I received a message informing me of an impromptu corporate training session taking place in our offices today. Joy!
And because it's a company crusade, it's mandatory. Bliss! And, to make sure any hopes for actually accomplishing anything at the office today are dashed, it's three hours long. Rapture!!!

Settle down, Beavis... today we're "Building Respect In The Workplace."

What the fu--? (Sorry, apparently that's inappropriate language)

Didn't I just sit through this three hour dirge a year ago? (Yes.)

Have the rules about what's respectful and disrespectful among my colleagues somehow changed in the past year? (No. Apparently, the same standards from 2004 still apply today.)

Madness. Pure, unadulterated madness.

What really bakes my skull about this is that at some point this quarter, I'm supposed to take time out of my day to explain exactly how I've earned my paycheck, maximizing my time and productivity at work and therefore insuring value for our shareholders. (I shit you not... )

I wonder how well it's going to go over when I explain that I couldn't get as much work done as I would've liked because I spent most of a perfectly good workday in a seminar where I was taught "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all."
For three hours.

FINALLY!

After countless reunions by bands that we could've done without , (Van Halen, anybody?) The Police have finally decided to put aside their differences and cash in. More than 20 years in the making, this is perhaps the most exciting news (if not the worst kept secret) in the entire music industry.

The newly reunited trio will begin their march back toward global domination with an appearance at the Grammy Awards next month and then launch a full-scale tour. They're expected to announce details for the tour as soon as they work out the details.


Talk about your big pay-days... in a world where lip-syncing no talents (sorry, Maddona) can command top-dollar for "performing," there's no telling how much money these guys are going to be able to charge for concert tickets. And much as I hate to admit it, I'll happily pay any price.


Link

Bad Science

I came across this while scouring the web earlier today. Apparently, it's part of the kids menu at the pseudo-Italian restaurant chain Pomodoro.

This might also explain why your check appears to also be slightly off the mark at the end of the evening.